I GOT NOTHIN’ (Creepy Alpaca Post)

Since I pretty much have nothing to say because I drank too much this weekend and am significantly stupider I thought we could all have fun laughing at how creepy alpacas are!

Love me some alpacas!

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Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Responses

WTF Weekly 5/13- THE SPECIAL DOUBLE FEATURE

Today I want to celebrate ideas; The vanguards of invention. The pioneers of progress.  The plural ambiguously symbolic words of other singular ambiguously metaphysical words….I think that’s Thoreau.

Ideas are limitless. And like a swift kick in the shins they are best served out of nowhere. Some are big, some are small and also like a swift kick in the shins some are just plain painful.  I was fortunate enough to come across two such ideas this week that beg me to ask the question: If stupid is as stupid does, and stupid does as stupid is, then does stupid get stupider than this stupid can I say the word stupid anymore piece of stupid mess that vibrates the ether with stupidity?

Many thanks to  KC for this tip off.

Meet My Pee Pee Bottle

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Posted in arts & entertainment, Satirical Rant, strong opinions | Tagged , | 2 Responses

Stuff I Hate

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And now for another rousing edition of Stuff I Hate.

Today’s topics are  “Fascist Cars,” “I’m a Mom’ers,” and “Foie Gras”

Fascist Cars

I don’t like to be told what to do. I straight-out abhor being told what to do most of the time. So you can imagine my fury at being forced to sacrifice my  freedom by my fascist car.  I’m talking about how whenever I don’t put on my seatbelt I am then subjected to an incessant beeping noise until I finally relent to buckling up. Really Ford? I know this happens in a lot of new cars and I think it’s terrible. What if I’m feeling risky and want to put my fate in God’s hands a little bit. What If I can’t be bothered to buckle up because I’m just moving my car across the parking lot. What if I just plain don’t want to? As a mature, legal adult shouldn’t I be trusted to make that decision for myself?

Ford, are you saying that I am not smart or capable enough to make my own decisions regarding my own damn life?

Isn’t this precisely what our founding fathers protested against?

I guess I can respect this purely on a marketing level in that if you annoy people into buckling up that presumably means that less people will die behind the wheel of your vehicle and that equates to less bad PR.

But still, I consider it a violation of my first amendment rights and you will be hearing from my lawyer!

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Posted in arbitrary, world views | Tagged , , | 5 Responses

The Sky Mall Catalog– Escapism for the new economy

Does anyone know of anyone that has ever actually ordered anything out of the sky mall catalog? I certainly don’t.

Maybe I should phrase this a different way…

Does anyone know of anyone that has ever owned a Lord of The Rings Decoder Pin, a solar paneled pencil sharpener that also records conversations, a voice-activated portable R2D2?

Anyone….?

I know that this catalog has been around for longer than I remember. And yet, everything they sell is completely irreverent, unnecessary, and often times foolish. In an amusing way– which is likely why they are still around and definitely making more money than I am.

I was so intrigued by this the last time I was on an airplane that I swiped one from my seat back pocket. And it got me thinking. Perhaps when your stock options have been depreciated to 1/1000th of their previous value, a little ridiculous luxury can go along way.

Take for instance  “Fernando” the life-sized Chihuahua statue.

102883168dI mean lets face it, a chihuahua named Fernando is on everyones wish list.  Now I may not be able to afford the costs of dog ownership, but for $24.95 I can snuggle up to his designer resin fur night after night. And what a deal! For $45 I can have two Fernandos! One for me and one to share with a friend.

Moving on.

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Posted in arbitrary | Tagged , , | 4 Responses
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