Mom Guilt?

Taylor Swift released a surprise album last week. It was written and recorded entirely during quarantine. It evokes the magic of youth, the magic of nature, and the magic of scaled down piano-based production.

It sounds like if twinkle lights evaporated off of the leaves in the morning, instead of dew drops.

I have wasted my life.

I did not use quarantine to channel something mystical and twinkly.

Envy is a very powerful emotion. Many of us don’t allow ourselves to feel it because it is “bad” so we just pretend that it’s not there. Or we camouflage it with disdain. However, envy will help you get very clear on what you want to do, so use it.

I think some moms feel guilty for not cutting their kids sandwiches into shapes. That is not my story. I feel guilty for not finding a way to drop an album while caring for two under two. And I’m very jealous of someone who did.

Yes I know she doesn’t have kids, and never mind that I’ve never dropped an album in my life. Details.

So, nevertheless she persisted. I ham-hacked this song on my thrift-store keyboard using the voice memo app on my iPhone, and a very cursory understanding of GarageBand. It’s a 45 second long instrumental and I wrote it in tribute to my beloved dog, the Puppy Lady, who passed a year ago this week. It sounds like her.

I Will Let You Go

Take that, Swifty.

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