Now back to babies.

I’m trying to find a job. A real job. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had a real job, and apart from some freelance writing work I’ve picked up here and there its been almost a year since I got a paycheck.

I had a plan to study and take the bar, but then the C-Word hit and the bar got postponed and now here I am with no license to practice law in Georgia, trying to find a work-around until I can at least get a license which will likely be the tail end of 2020, or early 2021.

Until then, here is my break down on babies, which is very important for me to write, rather than looking for a job. Having had two of them (babies), and still having like one of them, has made me an expert. I am an expert on babies and parenting.

My baby is currently in “peak baby” stage which is such a joy. Before four months your baby is likely hit or miss, and there’s a very low return on investment. But between four months and eight-ish months, when your baby is very active, but still not mobile, is the best. You can just park that baby on the floor with a dog toy and do whatever else it is you need to do. Or you can just watch the baby entertain itself, which is a delight. It’s also likely that your baby will not need to eat as often, will have settled into somewhat of a more predictable schedule, and will be a little heartier, health wise. All good things that make it easier and more fulfilling to have a baby.

If your baby cries a lot during peak baby stage, maybe try to look inward at your own anxieties and your own temperament. Like I said, I am an expert. Babies connect to their caretaker’s WiFi so to speak. They will express outwardly and loudly whatever traumas their caretakers have and are ignoring. So if your baby doesn’t want to be put down, maybe look at your own abandonment issues. Like I said, I am an expert and this is SCIENCE.

Also, if your baby does not sleep on schedules it is because it is a baby. If your baby does not sleep through the night, it is because it is a baby. With respect to sleeping through the night, default babies don’t do this, and there’s no way to get them to do this. Baby sleep books are like weight loss books. Except you are in 100% in control of your own weight loss. You have 0% control on whether your baby sleeps. So in that way, baby sleep books are even more worthless than weight loss books. You can create a conducive environment for sleeping but that’s it. Also, I know this from experience and also from being an expert, but if you are agitated about your baby not sleeping they will feed off that agitation and be even less likely to sleep. Babies are hardcore psychic. Having babies is like an exercise in relinquishing control, so accept and embrace that challenge or you will really struggle.

While babies are more comfortable with staying within the confines of a routine, that routine should stay flexible or your baby will force it to be. But in general, if you can take care of your baby kinda similarly every day, they will start to feel secure that they will be taken care of. This is a very important trait to develop in babies. Insecure babies become needy humans. I’m sure many of us are needy humans, and we might have had a volatile upbringing to account for it, but that doesn’t mean we need to create more needy humans. Routine is helpful for babies, but it is also helpful for needy humans. Basically, it is a win/win.

Babies don’t care what you put them in, but you should dress them up how ever you want because that is part of the fun of having a baby. Before long, they will not be so amenable to your wardrobe designs.

Babies will notice if you neglect yourself to care for them. It will teach them to neglect themselves too, and is that really what you want for your baby? Also, if you neglect yourself you will not be nearly as good of a parent. It’s a lot harder to be peaceful, kind, loving, patient and understanding when you are exhausted, angry and frustrated. Having respect for yourself will teach your baby to also have respect for itself.

Also, this should go without saying, but don’t make sacrifices for your baby just so you can hold those sacrifices over your babies’ head later. You may characterize those as sacrifices, but they are not actually sacrifices if you intend to capitalize on them later. And that is also forcing your baby into an agreement that they had no control over. Your baby is not part of your ego, and therefore your baby does not have to accomplish things you deem worthy or important so you can feel validated. Let your baby grow and blossom into whatever kind of kid or adult your baby wants to be. Having a baby is rolling the dice.

Basically, there is no right way to raise a baby. Other than doing the things I just said, because I am an expert.